Book Excerpt – #CassiNova
“This seems wrong on so many levels,” Sam said, as they slouched in Jade’s car in the parking lot of Novato’s Landscape and Hardscape. Both wore sunglasses, and a wide-brimmed, floppy beach hat perched atop Sam’s head. The only things missing were a nose and mustache.
“We’re just having a little fun, doing a little sleuthing,” Jade said.
“You call it sleuthing. The rest of the world calls it stalking. I’m the actress. I’m the one who’s supposed to be stalked—the stalkee, not the stalker.”
“Quiet. Do you see anybody who looks like they could write a lusty sex scene?”
“No.” Sam fanned herself with a magazine. The heat from the blacktop filtered through the open windows, and the absence of a breeze added to the stuffiness.
“Hand me those pretzels. Sleuthing makes me hungry.”
Sam passed the pretzels to Jade. After taking off her sandals, she put her feet up on the dashboard and moved them around like she was practicing dance moves.
“What the hell happened to your toes? It looks like they were gnawed on by some animal.”
Sam studied them. The red polish had mostly flaked off. The nails were varying lengths, some chipped and jagged. God, when did this happen? Her toes were usually so cute. Now look at them. She self-consciously put her feet back on the floor, blaming this lack of personal hygiene on her “offness” since season three had ended.
“I guess I’m due for a pedi.”
“You think? They look like Fred Flintstone feet.”
“They’re not that bad.”
“Put your shoes back on. We don’t wanna scare off our sexy writer.”
Sam huffed and put her sandals back on. She was bored. It felt like they had been here forever. An older woman headed toward the store with two kids in tow. “Oh, I bet that’s our mystery writer. Look, she’s in pajamas and has kids. Just like I said.”
“Jesus, I hope that’s not her. Pass me a soda.”
“Where is it?”
“In the cooler in the back seat.”
“You brought a cooler?” Sam turned around. “Oh my, you did. You brought a cooler. How long is this stakeout gonna last?”
After unzipping the red, soft-sided Igloo, she assessed the contents. Not much of a variety: Coke, Diet Coke, and more Coke. A bottle of water would have been nice, but evidently that wasn’t on the menu. As she was grabbing a can of soda, she noticed a bag behind Jade’s seat and peeked inside. It was everything from aisle one in a convenience store: multiple bags of Doritos, a sizeable bag of regular M&M’s, some sandwich cookies, and beef jerky—a lonely protein in a sea of carbs.
“My God, you have enough food in here to last for days.” Sam took in all the empty plastic cups, wrappers, and chip bags strewn on the floor in the back. “And you should clean your car. Cluttered car, cluttered mind they say.”
“Who’s they?”
“Me.” Sam handed her a soda. She was super envious of Jade’s metabolism. Girl ate like a pig and never gained an ounce. And she never chose healthy options. “You shouldn’t be drinking that stuff. Do you know what it must be doing to your insides?”
Jade waved her off. “Blah, blapity, blah.” Suddenly she straightened. “Wait—hellooo.”
They both saw her at the same time, strolling out the front door with a big, brown dog following close behind.
Sam pulled the sunglasses down her nose to get a better look. The woman went over to a customer and began talking and smiling, showing off perfect, white teeth. She was tall and lean, with long dark hair and a body that screamed fitness freak. She wore a tank top, cargo shorts, and a baseball hat that was like a cherry on top of the sweetest dessert.
Sam’s breath quickened. A surprising heat gathered between her legs. Who was this attractive mystery woman? She nibbled on her lip. There was something hypnotic about her. “Are you seeing what I’m seeing?”
“You mean those delicious calves?” Jade asked.
“I was looking at those delicious arms.”
The woman helped the customer load plants into their car, muscles rippling with every movement. When she finished, she glanced in their direction.
“Shit. Shit. She sees us.” Sam slipped down in the seat.
Jade gave a dismissive wave. “Relax, she doesn’t see us.”
The woman went back inside, and Sam breathed a sigh of relief. She had no intention of being caught stalking some woman, even one as lovely as the brunette. She didn’t want to be on the front page of the National Enquirer.
“We should go. Now.”
“We’re not going. Did you see that chick?” Jade turned to Sam, bug-eyed.
“Yeah.”
“She’s hot. What if she’s our writer?”
“We are not that lucky.”
They waited a couple of minutes and the woman appeared again, carrying flowers for the display out front, the dog close on her heels.
“Lordy Jesus, what’s it like to fuck a body like that?” Jade asked.
“You are so crude. And that’s another dollar.” Sam stared, fascinated by the woman’s graceful movements.
“C’mon, you ever sleep with a body like that?”
“No.”
“Don’t you wanna know what it’s like?”
“You’re ridiculous.” Sam admitted to herself that yes, she did wonder what it would be like to touch that body. Of course, she wouldn’t tell Jade that.
The woman exuded confidence with her impeccable posture and head held high. She kept moving the plants, then stepping back to critique the setup. It took a good four times of rearranging before she nodded with satisfaction.
Sam was mesmerized, finding it hard not to follow her every move. The woman spoke to the dog, and Sam tried to catch what was said, but they were too far away. Soon they both walked back into the store, and Sam’s shoulders sagged with disappointment.
“Where you going, beautiful?” Jade called softly.
Sam made a conscious effort to stay rooted in the car, because her body was compelled to follow the woman into the store and buy every plant in sight just to have the opportunity to speak with her. She took a deep breath. Time to get a hold of herself. She was the one being ridiculous.
“Hey, Columbo, how long are we going to sit here?”
“For as long as it takes.”
“As long as it takes to what?”
“Figure out if this is our writer.”
Five minutes later, the woman came outside with more plants. Sam’s body temperature skyrocketed again, her heart palpitations increasing. This stakeout was gonna be the death of her.
“We need to speed up this sleuthing process.” Jade leaned out the window. “Alexa!”
Sam’s mouth dropped open and she yanked Jade back inside. “Stop it!”
The woman scanned the parking lot until her eyes rested on their car again.
Jade slapped the steering wheel. “It’s her.”
“You are an idiot. That’s not her.”
“She looked.”
“She didn’t hear you.”
They began arguing, oblivious to the woman approaching their car.
